"Get Me Off This Thing!" (A Note on Paying Our F***ing Dues)

     The title of this reflects my frustration as a business woman and as an Artist who is still paying her dues and not yet reaping results that are comforting. What I mean by 'comforting' is getting past that point in one's career where fear subsides and you can honestly say to yourself with conviction,
        "I am going to make it in this field...
          I am not going to tread water anymore, I will safely sail...
           I am not going to struggle anymore...
 
I am not quite there yet, and being in my late thirties, that scares me sh**less!

c/o http://www.getmeoffthisthing.com

     What is meant by saying "paying dues" and "making it" is different for an artist or artisan than that of a typical business that sells products not created by themselves. That means to us that we have to have the talent first and refine it for years, then find our niche, then create a portfolio of work that represents our voice, then create a 'brand' that can be marketed, then create connections that get our work out there, then create collectors or a market for your work. (Try doing all of that while making very little money, too and if you are mot supported by someone else, it becomes damn near impossible!)

     After all that, (which can take years to decades to do), an artist/artisan can say that they can survive on their creations and the 'paying dues' part is behind us. Until then, strap in tight, 'cause it's a wild ride! (And I am honestly ready to get off! )


    I would say that I am at the part where I know my niche, I have an awesome portfolio, I have connections, and am working on creating a brand right now, so I can begin the marketing component. This part is the hardest, because there is so much at stake and it takes so much money, and time and you cannot stop once you begin this part. I repeat, you cannot stop!  This is the part where we really have to OWN IT!

c/o http://www.redpandatrek.blogspot.com

      
     I am close to the top of the mountain, but the top is the most treacherous ground. The rocks are snowy, the climb all vertical, the resources dwindling and the air is thin. I have worked tirelessly with my partner, Nicholas over the past 12 years to get just where we are now and still have not reached the summit. We are so close.... But, I am growing weary, and feel like I could just give up and let the mountain take me.

     This is the part where we call in reinforcements. Here is where I ask the Universe for anything and anyone who can help. This is the part where fear kicks in....We are vulnerable, and isolated and a little light-headed and I am afraid those/that we need will not come. I am afraid we are invisible. Fear, after all this badass work, is still lingering! 
     
     Fear lingers in self-consciousness, it sneaks in when being critiqued, and it hovers over every work that goes out without the proper fanfare. It haunts us when we see our own friends not support us, It hits us in the head when we sell a piece for less than it's worth; it makes us devalue our work. It makes me question what we are doing and why. Why am I so afraid? This climb is not for the faint of heart. Can we make it?

    The 'stakes is high.' We are going into battle with the mountain now and need all the energy we can get. Sending out an S.O.S. to universe to save us now.