"Believe in Your F*cking Self"

This month, I put on my 'Designer' hat and got to work on marketing and branding. I have been reinventing myself a bit in order to create a likable brand. Not only have I had to do this for myself, but for a portfolio of collaborative work as well. I took a good long look at all that Nicholas and I have accomplished and tried to create an identity that our market can identify with. This branding path forced me to ask the questions, Where are we going? What makes us happy? Who are we? What is our course? Who is our market? Who really loves us?

Through all this, the Who really loves us? part is what has confounded me the most and I am STUCK. I have been a deer in the headlights with that one, as I haven't been sure I love myself enough to answer it. I came across this little diddy today (below) and as foul as it is, it really spoke to me and opened my eyes wider to what my real problem was. 

c/o http://goodfuckingdesignadvice.com

I can relate to the madness of this as I am slacking right now and feel like I need a f*cking drill sergeant to stand above me with my lowered head and yell the slacker right out of me. That would get me to hold my head up high and stand up straight and motivate.

The reason I am slacking is I am having trouble with the first thing on this poster. "Believe in your f*cking self" Why is that so f*cking hard?!? I do stay up all night, I do work outside of my habits and anything relatively normal, I collaborate, I network, I speak up, I am working it... but I don't f*cking BELIEVE enough. 

One thing I have done well on that list is question everything, including myself and my work. It's been a gremlin eating away inside my head, constantly critiquing every little thing and making me second guess what I have. I have wracked my brain for days trying to knock this sucker loose and get my thoughts back, and found that the only thing that will get rid of him is GRATITUDE.

I have been so focused on what needs to be done and what I need to change that I have forgotten what works and what is beautiful about what we have. I forgot how fortunate we are to have the talent and the gumption to do this and make beautiful things. I forgot to thank the universe for this journey. 

I am going to put down the pen and tools today and meditate on this. Perhaps once I get to that place of gratitude the rest will f*cking fall in place.

     "It is crucial that we learn the great value of human existence, 

       the opportunity and the potential that our brief lives afford us...

       such thoughts inspire us to make our human existence purposeful"

                                    -The Dalai Lama

    

     "Good times gone but you feed it
       Hate's grown strong you feel you need it
       Just one thing do you know
       What you think that the world owes you
       What's gonna set you free
       Look inside and you'll see
       When you've got so much to say
       It's called gratitude"

                                   -The Beastie Boys, Gratitude